Jennifer's Finale

Jennifer’s Finale


And so, this beautiful affair between two seniors, who discovered the beauty and mystery of sensuality once more, ended.  Each had a significant other, with a plan of cruising – new lands to be seen and adventures to be lived.  I will tell you of their parting just as Jennifer told it to me – these are her words; I have only edited.


“Dale gave me something that I desperately needed.  I didn’t know this at the time but I should have, for all of my vast experience in this area.  What he bestowed upon me was a glorious sense of self – anything I did, or wanted - sexual toys I needed or wanted to know about – he accepted. He made me feel young and beautiful.  In fact, he not only accepted me as I was, he encouraged me to be, to know and to love as I desired.  


Because he was so totally able to give of himself to please me – I was also.  And so these afternoons, in various rooms named and decorated after exotic countries, became a schoolroom for me.  It was here, in bed with Dale that I totally united with “the other” in Tantric, spiritual sex.


The one advantage older women have over younger ladies is the appreciation of perfection when it appears, which is rare.  Having had many love affairs I knew, immediately upon our first liaison, that Dale was different from any man I had ever known.  


As I look back, the first kiss that he bestowed upon me during each meeting, took me into a completely spiritual “out of this” world.  I thought a lot when we were making love – always offering up prayers to the god of my being for this wondrous experience.  His love was magical – transforming – always taking me to a higher level, both spiritually and physically, than where I had ever been before.


Most women love the long foreplay that precedes penetration.  Not me – I wanted to just kiss him as long as possible before the game began.  I really did not want for him to touch me, kiss my body or taunt me with his hands.  I simply wanted to kiss him – this was enough for me and truly his kisses made me hotter than anything he could have done with his hands.  


Then, when I saw that he was growing restless, I wanted immediate penetration – right then, right there, no foreplay whatsoever.  I would usually turn over on my right side, towards him, and he would absolutely fill me with the most wonderful pattern of love, each stroke bringing me more and more pleasure, until I had come two or three times.  He was actually able to remain hard, and not climax during this, which I thought was the miracle of miracles – his self discipline and control still amaze me.


We would then rest, talk and just relax.  When he saw that I had regained some sort of energy (after all I am 68) he would begin foreplay.  I really enjoyed this – god, how he would tease me with his hands, his kisses and his tongue.  As I had already climaxed and lost the edge that had been with me since the last time we were together, I would relax and totally enjoy our lovemaking.  I wish I could really relay to you how perfect and satisfying this was for me.  


Of course I loved him - dearly in fact.  I was always telling or writing to him of how I loved him.  He never responded in kind; however, I was sure that he loved me in his way.  Although we never spoke of this, I always thought that in his past he had been forced to equate love with commitment.  


Nothing could have been further from my mind; although I must admit that at the beginning of our affair I was ready to leave my current life, run off, screw the world and live with him forever.  However, reality and responsibilities do set in at our age and I soon learned to pace myself.


Dale didn’t really know me at all when we began our rendezvous.  How could he have possibly known of my great capacity for love?  I probably love more easily than anyone I have ever met – I am southern and extremely demonstrative - even with strangers.  How was he to know that I could love without commitment?  In fact, the big C word is something that I totally avoid.  I love my current partner, but I am not committed.  I loved my husband but I was not committed.  The only ventures that I have actually committed myself to, in order, are – my children, my creativity/careers and my capacity for loving life.  


He still doesn’t know this, but now it hardly matters as we have moved to different parts of the globe.  I think about him often and all of the magical things that I learned and experienced – of how we “felt” together.  I was more “whole” with him than I have ever been with a man.  He somehow completed me – as if we were spiritual souls, born together and split at birth.  My twin – only in another gender.  We enjoyed the same love of life, ethics and humor – although his was a bit more basic than mine.


As I consider myself a spiritual being more than anything else, I have tried to take this newly learned knowledge and combine it with my personification of, what I believe to be god or my higher self, into some form of unity.  My years of meditation and studies into alternate lifestyles and beliefs have given me the background that is needed to meet this type of sensuality/sexuality.  I now go into a trance, remembering acutely my feelings for Dale, and combine it with what I know of universal love. If I did not do this I would feel sadness because we had to part and I would never want to do this.


His sensuality, sense of ethics and responsibility, joined with his love of the physical and adventure has served as my mentor.   He is my muse.


I have to transfer his love and my feelings of desire for him, into another concept of love – it is a need just as I needed him – for I could not live without him if I was not able to transcend this love onto another level.


Will we meet again?  I don’t know – but I certainly hope so.”  


Nature Forms Gasp